The Joys of the Unathletic Pitcher

More awkward old guys, please.

One of the great things about going back and watching the movie Major League is how aberrant junkballing pitcher Eddie Harris (played by awesome character actor Chelcie Ross) seems in 2011. An old, unathletic guy on the mound, looking like, really, just an everyman putting everything into a toss that may or may not make it to the plate. Mostly, it’s knuckleballers like Charlie Hough (left) and Phil Niekro, when you think about a shapeless guy on the mound heaving it towards far more athletic-looking batters.

*When Charlie Hough retired from the game in 1994 at the age of 46, he was 26th in career strikeouts with 2,362. He’s now 41st., passed by the likes of Clemens, Johnson, Pedro, Maddux, Glavine, Smoltz, Schilling, etc, and, the latest, Javier Vazquez last September. Charlie Hough. That has to be the strangest name on the current top 50 K leaders. He was only in the top 10 in strikeouts four out of his, um, 25 seasons. He was only in the top 10 for Ks/9 IP once. Hough is sandwiched between Sandy Koufax and Robin Roberts. According to Baseball-Reference, Hough’s Career Pitcher WAR is 37.5, or 156th all-time. Of the top 50 career strikeout leaders, Hough is second-to-last. Only Vazquez is behind him, and Vazquez will probably pass him this year. Hough was an All-Star once. He got four votes in the 2000 Hall of Fame ballot. I wish I could watch him pitch now. Watching Tim Wakefield isn’t the same. Sure, he’s a late-40s knuckleballer, but Niekro and Hough – they looked legitimately like grandparents.

Which brings me back to my point.

Neftali Feliz Becomes Tricksier

Neftali Feliz Gets his Preciouseses

A fair bit of brouhaha surrounded the strange end of the Rangers-Royals game on May 18th. And it leads to the possibility that one of the game’s best relievers just got maybe a little better, despite a mini-meltdown last night.

Starting with the bad: After Neftali Feliz gave up a game-tying, save-blowing homer on the first pitch phenom Eric Hosmer saw, he walked Jeff Francoeur.

Let’s not blow by that statement. It’s up in the air whether Feliz has suffered a little control trouble this year; following last night’s game, he’s walked 11 and struck out just 8 through 13.2 innings this year (albeit with a large DL stint); this is compared to his 71:18 K-to-walk ratio in 2010. But a closer look at his situational walks reveal perhaps a different story:

Not a Jock – Sam Fuld

Short Diabetic Statisticians Can Fly!

Sam Fuld has played above his head. He’s been a wonderful story so far, but a player with a career minor league slugging percentage of .405 who was old for each level of the minors won’t keep up his legendary status among baseball fans or even Rays fans. Since a 4-for-4 game against the White Sox on April 18th that raised his batting average to a season-high .396 and his OPS to 1.035, Fuld hit a 9-for-62 skid (as of May 5th), and is currently at .261, and will be relegated, most likely, to Fernando Perez-type status soon. Fourth outfielder with speed, possible defensive replacement. Oddly, Perez was included in the trade that sent Matt Garza to the Cubs and Sam Fuld (along with Chris Archer and Hak-Ju Lee to the Rays. Oddly again, Perez has his own Not-a-Jock column here.

But Sam Fuld is insanely mega-fun to watch, and kinda constitutes a nerd, and warms my damn heart. And he’s not a typical jock. For example:

The Big Red Steal

Bruuuuuce!

On December 9th, the Cincinnati Reds agreed to a six-year, $51 million deal with Bruce, a contract almost exactly the same as the Arizona Diamondbacks’ agreement with the slightly-younger Justin Upton last March (six years, $51.25 million).

And for some strange reason, the Reds’ multi-year signing of the fan favorite made almost no news. Well, in Cincinnati it did. But nationally, it was something of an afterthought next to the Rockies’ Troy Tulowitzki and Carlos Gonzalez mega-contracts, the Cliff Lee Sweepstakes, and the usual merry-go-round of veteran bats jumping teams.

King Felix, Owner of Argyle Socks, Wins Cy Young

He doesn't win ugly, but man does he fill out a uniform. Hubba hubba?

In the wake of the AL Cy Young voting, for some reason, and despite David Price coming in third place, stories abound pitting the Cy Young Award winner and best pitcher in the American League this past year against third-place winner C.C Sabathia with headlines noting his paltry win accumulation, like:

“With only 13 Wins, Hernandez Earns Cy Young” (New York Times)

“Hernandez, 13-12, Wins Cy Young” (Philadelphia Inquirer)

“Hernandez Overcomes 13-12 Record to Win Award” (the BBWAA itself)

This is kind of like writing “Hernandez, Owner of Argyle Socks, Wins Cy Young.” Or “King Felix, Whose Favorite Movie is Ghost Dad, Wins Award.”

Hernandez, by every metric except wins, was the best choice this year. And it’s fantastic that Hernandez got 21 out of 28 first-place votes. He was on every single ballot, though two writers – I’ll get to them in a second – named him fourth and fifth.

Justin Morneau Sends a Poorly Thought-Out E-Mail

If the fences are at 300 feet, we'll win 162 games!

The Minnesota Twins made the playoffs this year. Easily, too. They finished six games ahead of the White Sox, and it wasn’t even much of a race for the last two months. They also had the best home record in the American League with a 53-28 record. Who can argue with that?

Justin Morneau, that’s who. In the latest ‘hitter who doesn’t like the spacious measurements of his ballpark,’ the concussed first baseman replied in an email to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune about how disappointed he was that the front office hasn’t decided to pull the fences in at the Twins’ gorgeous new Target Field.

So…a couple of things.

What the Goddamn Living Crap

 

Bring in the worst possible choices. We have a game to lose. (Photo: AP / Chris O'Meara)

What some managers still can’t seem to understand is that you use your best reliever in the most tense, “clutch” spot. You do not bring in Darren O’Day over, say, Neftali Feliz or Frank Francisco, when the bases are loaded in a three-run game in the eighth liver-humping inning.

 

Sorry. Let’s go back a sec. It’s the top of the 8th in the ALCS. Rangers up over the Yankees 5-2. The eighth starts with Hustlin’ Brett Gardner sliding – headfirst! – safely into first on an infield single. He scores on a Derek Jeter double. Ron Washington gets economical starter C.J. Wilson off the mound and calls for Darren Oliver, who had decent numbers this year as a spot reliever. Oliver, long man for – christ, the Rangers initially, then the Cardinals, Red Sox, Rockies, Marlins, Astros, Mets, Angels, and once again, the Rangers. Oliver, whose decent numbers this year masked the fact that he’s very good against lefties, but not so against righties.

Oliver’s line against lefties: 14.33 Ks to BB ratio. .200 BAA. .529 OPS against. Wonderful! Fantastic!

Oliver’s line against righties: 1.83 Ks to BB. .281 BAA. .765 OPS against. Boo, hiss, etc.

If C.C. Sabathia Wins the Cy Young, Obama’s Up Shit Creek

Oh no! It's Mitch McConnell! Kinda.

Last year, Zack Greinke won the AL Cy Young by being the best pitcher in the league. By which I mean, the BBWAA got it absolutely right, signaling a major step forward in dismissing won-lost results as a dominant factor in voters’ minds. Keith Law did a fantastic job (as usual) in detailing why a starting pitcher has minimal control over whether his team wins the game. Unless you believe that a pitcher can use Jedi telekinesis to will his offense to score runs and make defensive plays. Not to mention that “the average MLB start this year has lasted almost exactly six innings.” (Just fer instances, Charles Carsten Sabathia’s very impressive 234.2 innings this year, over 34 games started, comes out to 6.99 IP/start – with two complete games.) Giving a modern-day starting pitcher – especially an AL pitcher, who doesn’t even bat – credit for a team win is like crediting Christine O’Donnell for Tea Party success without looking at where the funds are coming from.

Which is about as good a segue for my point I’m gonna get.

The Blasted Hold

Don't worry, Aroldis. We know Masset was to blame.

With the relatively new way of utilizing pitchers (by relatively new, I mean in the context of baseball history), starting pitchers have even less effect on the outcome of a game than they did, say, seventy years ago. With starting pitchers going about six innings now, more dependence is placed on the revolving door of middle relievers, whose efforts become more dramatic.

The hold was created in 1986 by the illustrious John Dewan and Mike O’Donnell in an attempt to give a statistic of worth to said middle relievers. The hold – not an official MLB statistic – was originally credited “any time a relief pitcher enters a game in a Save Situation, records at least one out, and leaves the game never having relinquished the lead.”

Which is problematic in and of itself. In theory, I find it very difficult to believe that a player should be credited with anything that can be construed as a positive statistic if the player makes it much more difficult for his team to win the game than the situation he was originally presented with. So if, say, Mark Buehrle is staked to a 10-0 lead before he pitches a single inning, and he then gives up eight runs, ethically I do not want to see this train wreck of a hurler honored with a “win.” He did not win the game. But that specific argument has been going on for thirty years now, so let’s just focus on holds.

Not a Jock – Fernando Perez

Self-Portrait in a Convex Home Plate?

Oooh, I’ve been waiting to write about Fernando Perez for a while. I think I have a man-crush on him. As I’ve written before, the Not a Jock column celebrates those professional baseball players – like Jeremy Guthrie and Miguel Batista – who have interests beyond playing video games, luxury SUVs, and, uh, livin’ large. A more well-rounded worldview, one that includes books beyond lifestyle magazines and the Bible and activities beyond their own occupation.

Things that depress me: I had a running subscription to Sports Illustrated from December 1984 (Eric Dickerson! Old Rams unis! Unbelievable!) through 2007 before I cancelled with them. And it was tough to do. But the Pop Culture Grid, like this one and this one really destroyed any love I had for reading the magazine. Though this one, thanks to Kevin Goldthwaite, restores a little faith.

So let us now praise Fernando Perez, who’s been laboring in the minors for a little now…and is reportedly trying to pursue an MFA in writing. Perez grew up in New Jersey (his folks emigrated from Cuba before hitting Brooklyn and finally the Garden State) and attended the fairly tony private Peddie School in Highstown, whose graduates apparently attend UPenn and Cornell more than any other school. Perez went across the river to Columbia University, where he majored in English with a concentration in creative writing, while playing baseball for the Lions. In 2004 he batted .317 and led the Ivy League in stolen bases (18); that June he was the third of 14 Ivy Leaguers drafted by MLB clubs, when the Rays took him in the seventh round.